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Dear Maximum Leader,

Oh, how I love you! Now, would you mind terribly coming to Wisconsin and replacing/cleaning the monitor? There is a disgusting bit of fiber one bar mixed with spittle all over it, severely impeding progress. And that's a problem because I only have four screens, I can't be down one!

Still, I needed the laugh.

For the record:

Puppy pelts collected = 0
Wings successfully pulled from small flying insects = 0
Attempted de-wingings = wouldn't you like to know?!?
Gray hairs = oh, half a million at least

Here's the dealio: I'm trying to cut out soda and limit my sugar intake. Sometimes it is all I can do not to fling my body out the second story window and plummet the 12 feet to my... maiming. What can I say? Small town Wisconsin doesn't offer anything in the way of a plummet-to-your-death situation.

Thank you, my Maximum Leader, for brightening my day. I honestly didn't think anybody was still popping in to read this anymore.

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